Ten Thousand Swords

by Alexandrian

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1.
ten thousand swords can't take me on I can't fill the void of what you've done I can't kill the person you've become I can't keep my body from coming undone
2.
Bend 02:22
bend and bend until we break bend 'til we get over it all the while we fall asleep and wake to half-remembered dreams and when we move in the city our shoulders fall in our defeat bend and bend until we break bend 'til we get over it
3.
the door opens while I sleep it's a presence I cannot see there is static in the screen there's a voice here haunting me and I know that it's here to be: constant reminder of what I cannot see there's not much here that I can know so I shut my mouth and we're good to go and on the way back to Toronto the voice is quiet and the car is slow the door opens while I sleep it's a presence I cannot see there's the ghost of everybody! and I was too late for apologies there's not much here that I can know the river's swiftest where it's shallow and there's a sad song on the radio so throw it in and drown your sorrows!
4.
Great Blue 02:41
getting stuck at the crux of it there's no way out; there's no way curling up on the floor with it there's nothing to say in my old age, I get stuck for days on the same thing; on memory lane looking out at the great blue it is not what you want in this room, you are not you there's no way to say: in my old age, I get stuck for days thinking about the things I knew in my old age, I get stuck for days thinking about nothing but you in my old age, I get stuck for days on the same thing; on memory lane
5.
I don't know if I wanna be more than this 'cause I know it's complicated as is we can sit here and say what we need but it doesn't change a thing you can be alone or you can be with me but it doesn't change a thing I don't know if I'm gonna be more than this 'cause I know I can't tell what it's gonna be then I can kneel down and say what I need but it doesn't change a thing you can take the throne or you can try to be free but it doesn't change a thing you can grab onto branches to pull you free but you'll never know the truth of what could be and I saw you throw your crown into the sea then comes dissolution: dissolving me I can keep trying to be someone new but I know there's nothing left I can do I can keep the faith and do what I can but it doesn't change a thing I can wear the armour and reach for your hand but it doesn't change a thing you can grab onto branches to pull you free but you'll never know the truth of what could be and I saw you throw your crown into the sea then comes dissolution: dissolving me ten thousand swords can't take me back I can't fill the void of what you lack I can't kill the dragon that you sent I can't keep my feet from sinking in it's the hall of love it's the hell of us you can grab onto branches to pull you free but you'll never know the truth of what could be and I saw you throw your crown into the sea then comes dissolution: dissolving me ten thousand swords can't take me back I can't fill the void of what you lack I can't kill the dragon that you sent I can't keep my feet from sinking in it's the hall of love
6.
push me halfway down the river all I want is to believe you but I don't through the woods and out the other side fills me with guilt for all my lonely life I wish you knew when you drive home, it's still dark out and you get caught in a roundabout going on in circles for all your life and I can't look you in the eye when you call me, I don't answer 'cause I'm running away head-first I'll be gone but it's alright it is dark but I'll find the light I'll find the light can you come and take me away now? I am done with earth and betrayal well, I know you can't call me anymore I'm the soldier going out to war you know, it's won when you drive home, it's still dark out and you get caught in a roundabout going on in circles for all your life and I can't look you in the eye when you call me, I don't answer 'cause I'm running away head-first I'll be gone but it's alright it is dark but I'll find the light I'll find the light I think it's over I think we're through now I am older and tired of you I think it's over I think we're through I'm done with hoping it's all I do when you drive home, it's still dark out and you get caught in a roundabout going on in circles for all your life and I can't look you in the eye when you call me, I don't answer 'cause I'm running away head-first I'll be gone but it's alright it is dark but I'll find the light I'll find the light I'll find the light
7.
we could be immortal we could live forever we could do whatever we could live forever there’s an army coming straight towards us we don’t know what’s coming we just go on living we could live forever like this never knowing until we’re hit there’s a man trapped in a cage going through the motions crossing all the oceans he could live forever like this never knowing this man is him and your friends are trapped in a cage they don’t know what happened and you tried to warn them but they just wouldn’t listen I just didn’t listen and I can’t put this all back together and I can’t work through the stormy weather but I won’t sleep til the work is done and I won’t reach you but I’ll run and run and I will run and run til revelation comes and I will run and run we could be immortal we could live forever we could do whatever we could live forever there’s an army coming straight towards us we don’t know what’s coming we just go on living we could live forever like this never knowing until it hits (and I will run and run and I will run and run)
8.
you will lose me on the river lose me on the river you can find me on the water floating just beyond ya I will follow it for miles til I am out of sight I am cold and I am tired and I don’t wanna fight now I have to remember you with everything I do and my memory is blue where the river’s running through I don’t mean to make it hard I’m going back, oh, to the start I don’t mean to make you cry but I am going back in time to undo what has been done untie all of the knots revoke what has been won and erase all of my thoughts and I know I can’t believe you and I’ve done what I can do and I’m lost now down the river I got nothin left to lose now I dream about you all night dream about you all night and I see you in a new light and it keeps me up all night now the current sweeps me off my feet! takes me, oh down the stream and I feel you hanging over me! I guess that’s fitting I don’t mean to make it hard I’m going back, oh, to the start I don’t mean to make you cry but I am going back in time to undo what has been done untie all of the knots revoke what has been won and erase all of my thoughts and I know I can’t believe you and I’ve done what I can do and I’m lost now down the river I got nothin left to lose
9.
stuck in the backseat of something I can't feel I knew always here with the: "please stay, please call me." I knew though I'm here, well, I can't I'm trying to keep my distance I knew I can't believe what you say well, I can't trust you at all today I knew I knew when you called it would mean nothing at all I tried to let go but you're still a shadow I knew when you called it would mean nothing at all I tried to get away but I know you'll find a way I won't go in your house because I'm afraid to have to lie to you I won't go in your car because I'm afraid to die here
10.
all that all that I've done I can't go back no matter how far I run
11.
Keep Going 02:19
I hope you're happy God sees you smile and he says, "Good thing." I hope you're somewhere gaining on miles and you keep going keeping a sharp eye drawing all new lines so I keep going I keep going
12.
Badlands 02:58
I hope you're happy God sees you smile and he says, "Good thing." I hope you're somewhere away by miles and you keep going out in the badlands I will watch you dance out in the distance out in the badlands I will take your hand you won't know the difference out in the badlands I will grow something I will keep trying out in the badlands I will find something before it's dying can I ask you something? is it worth creating a shelter from the weather? I know you betrayed me but I keep on waiting for it to get better was it just the season? can you give me a reason for keeping it together? you know I am leaving so we're done with scheming 'cause I'll be gone forever out in the badlands I will grow something I will keep trying
13.
Stoic 04:05
got a complex and you know it got a feeling that I'm stoic I got places I need to be can't just wait for you to cut me free got a skeleton in my body got a feeling that it's rotting we were friends, now you're my disease just hold still and I'll cut you free the sun came up when I was going down the walls went up when I was coming around I got goals; I got dreams; there's still things that I need to see we were friends, now you're my disease in a moment, you'll be sleeping got a feeling I'll be leaving you should've known what I would do I will make this the same for you in a moment, I'll be running got a feeling that you're not coming my god, this is such a shame I can't hear you calling my name the sun came up when I was going down the walls went up when I was coming around I got goals; I got dreams; there's still things that I need to see we were friends, now you're my disease the way you followed me home I should have left you out in the cold I don't know if I'll be able to follow that up with anything it just corrupts everything
14.
oh you wake up out of breath were my hands on your neck? no, your heart skipped a beat while you were strangling me I never loved you never claimed to never loved you never tried to but if I did, I'd know: there's a difference between holding hands and setting a fire in your lover's bed oh I wake up with a headache 'cause you got a pillow over my face no, your heart skipped a beat while I sit back and scream I never loved you never claimed to never loved you never tried to but if I did, I'd know: there's a difference between holding hands and setting a fire in your lover's bed I am not your friend I'm not your friend there's a difference between holding hands and setting a fire in your lover's bed
15.
Joseph 05:00
Joseph come on down they'll lead you here alone Joseph come around keep spinning the wheel to atone it rains all summer long we play a sad, sad song all night 'til your cries fade to light well, I pray for nothing but I will pray for you
16.
X 01:17
you're like a ghost you best be paying attention are you listening? can you hear me? are you tuned in? are you listening? you're like a ghost you best be paying attention
17.
you look the same no one knows anyway but I sold you so well I got a sickness that don't fade and it's keeping me awake but I sold you so well I'm not so good at this, I know I'm not so good with words I just need to learn to say "no" I just wanna be alone but I sold you so well fate, drive your car by my house every now and then fill my body with doubt every now and again God can't help me now He couldn't help me then this is what it's all about: the futility of men
18.
you are a snake in the garden talking me up but my mind is not open to you you are a shark in the water keeping me going straight down to the bottom to you I just drive I just wait for a sign I just follow the lines I just aim for the light we were closest to the promise land but you broke the promise when God holds up a mirror, you can't look and you say to Him: will you help me find the light?

about

written and recorded February 2015 - October 2015

credits

released October 22, 2015

all songs written, performed and produced by Alex Clément

some ambient sounds taken from public domain*
*"starting a car and driving" from Postcards From Eden (track 18)
*"forest ambience" from Joseph (track 15)

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Alexandrian Toronto, Ontario

Alexandrian is the experimental music project based in Toronto

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